Am I confused? Or just dumb?

27 October 2004 / 12 Ramadan 1425

I’m a South African. I’m a Black South African. I’m a Black South African Muslim. I’m a Black South African Muslim activist. (I need to say this because I believe it is important that people know where I’m coming from.)

And I’m a Black South African Muslim activist who is confused. Now I’m not saying that my confusion is because I’m a Black South African Muslim activist, but it might have something to do with that.

As a Black South African Muslim activist, I spent a long time last year – from about an hour after the first American bombs began falling on Iraq until Bush the Son declared his mission accomplished – standing, shouting, talking, debating and delivering jumu’ah khutbahs outside the US Consulate in Johannesburg. Many, many weeks with many, many comrades who organised, mobilised and stood there no matter what the weather, no matter how many Zionists and American supporters were vulgar and wanted to beat us up, no matter what kind of provocation we got from consular staff.

As a Black South African Muslim activist I played what I think was an important role in mobilising for and organising South Africa’s contribution to the 15 February Global Day of Action and other such days of action.

As a Black South African Muslim activist I am currently facing court action for my alleged role in ‘organising an illegal gathering’ – a protest against the visit to South Africa of Israeli Deputy Prime Minister Ehud Olmert. Perhaps Olmert didn’t like our ‘From Iraq to Palestine, Occupation is a crime’ slogan.

As a Black South African Muslim activist in the ‘80s, I joined my compatriots in attacking (not physically, I should add) the US for its ‘constructive engagement’ policy with South Africa – at a time when we were calling for (and many of you were making real) sanctions against the apartheid state (South Africa, not Israel).

As an African Muslim activist I still remember that it was the US – in the form of the CIA – that helped assassinate Patrice Lumumba and install a brutal dictator in his place, resulting in decades of a major crisis in one of the richest countries on my beloved continent and, thus, a problem for the whole continent. A crisis that the DRC has not recovered from.

As a Third World activist, I remember that day, 11 September, when Allende was overthrown and the butcher Pinochet installed in his place.

As a Black South African Muslim activist I remember that while our freedom fighters were training and fighting with the PLO in the ‘70s and ‘80s, American security forces were working closely with the Israelis.

As a Black South African Muslim activist teaching at a university, I have asked my students to describe to me in their exam what they think the world would look like today if Mossadeqh had not been overthrown by the CIA in 1953.

As a Black South African Muslim activist, ‘Vietnam’ is an evocative word.

As a Black South African Muslim activist I am angry that the US has set up a military base and security force training operation in a country neighbouring mine, Botswana.

I could go on and on. But I think I have made the point: as a Black South African Muslim activist I believe there is a lot that successive US governments have to answer for to the peoples of the Third World.

And so to my confusion…

I have been very confused over the past few days as I read articles on this progressive Muslim website where a Muslim brother goes into a long justification of why he is a US marine. It doesn’t make sense to me. I am confused when I see an entire article from the US’ Air Force Times posted on to this website. Just doesn’t make sense to me. I am confused when I read an article on this website where the author, a Muslim, proudly announces that he is an advisor to various ‘national security institutions’ in the US. Boggles my mind. I am confused when I hear of Muslims campaigning for Bush. I am bewildered. I was confused when I heard a Muslim, responding to a question on the Palestinian right of return, say: ‘I’m from Jerusalem. My family is from Jerusalem. I don’t want to go back to Jerusalem. Why should I go back to Jerusalem.’ My mind reeled.

Now my confusion may be simply because, being a Black South African Muslim activist, I don’t understand these things.

Maybe its because I’m still sore that after 17 months, one of these ‘national security institutions’ still can’t decide whether to give me a US visa so that I can speak at UN and academic conferences.

Maybe it’s because, being a Black South African Muslim activist, I still have horrible images in my mind of the necklace (a burning tyre filled with petrol) that was used against the impimpi (collaborators) in my country, and I can’t bear to think of fellow Muslims as impimpi.

Maybe it’s because tens of thousands of martyrs from Iraq and Palestine and Latin America and Vietnam and Afghanistan and Africa cry out for justice and I think that progressive Muslims should be trying to help deliver that justice – instead of being in bed with those who perpetrated the murders in the first place.

Maybe it’s because, being a Black South African Muslim activist, I simply don’t understand these things. I don’t understand ‘Muslims for Bush’. I don’t understand ‘Muslims for Kerry’. I don’t understand how hundreds of thousands (millions?) of Muslims voted Bush four years ago.

And because hundreds of thousands voted Bush, and because 10,000 Muslims are part of the Occupation Forces in Iraq doesn’t make either of these ok. If every single Muslim in the US voted Bush and massacred civilians in Iraq, it still won’t make it ok.

Maybe I say things like this because, being a Black South African Muslim activist, I see things in black and white. You know: coloniser-colonised, occupier-occupied, perpetrator-victim, imperialism-third world. Maybe this is my problem. Maybe I should see more greys. Allow things to be hazy rather than so clear that they hurt my eyes.

Maybe it’s not good being a Black South African Muslim activist; it’s just too damn confusing! Maybe… maybe I’m just dumb?