In the eyes of babes

May 2006, Al-Qalam

I was repeatedly reminded, in the past months, of Professor Amina Wadud’s words, from her jumu’ah khutbah on “Engaged Surrender” at Cape Town’s Claremont Main Rd Mosque 12 years ago: “A woman carries her child under her heart for nine months. What she eats the child eats. As she cares for her health, she cares for the child’s health. As she breathes fresh air, she breathes in for the nourishment of the child. As she takes care of her spiritual and emotional state of mind, she cares for the child’s well being… She carries that child for nine months and this is an act of surrender. She is following the will of Allah.

“This is a marvellous example of engaged surrender. The mother cannot take a day’s rest. She cannot lay the child down beside her on the bed and say, ‘Just for today, I think I will not be pregnant.’ More importantly, after the nine months are over, she may not hold onto to that child. She must surrender the child and give in to Allah’s will. For just as Allah commanded her to hold onto that child for nine long months, so must she engage in the act of surrender when it is time to bring the child forth.

“If she continues to [hold onto it], it will mean death for her and for the child. So, she will engage in surrender.”

Over the past few months, as I watched my wife going through the motions – often difficult – of pregnancy, I couldn’t help but remember Amina’s lessons about birth.

The birth of a baby in almost all societies is a joyous occasion. It heralds life and the continuation of life and of society. Human beings see, in babies, the reproduction of ourselves and proof that we will persist. Of course, today, like in the day of the Prophet (s), there are still some societies where sadness greets the birth of a baby girl. Thank Allah, that is not the case in most Muslim communities.

But beyond the hope of survival, what does the birth of a baby mean to us? Most importantly, it is a sign of the Majesty and Glory of Allah.

In Surah Mu’min, Allah says: “It is He who has created you from dust then from a sperm drop then from a leech-like clot; then does He get you out as a child, then lets you (grow and) reach your age of full strength, then lets you become old though of you there are some who die before, and lets you reach a term appointed, in order that you may learn wisdom. It is He who gives life and death. And when He decides upon an affair, he says to it ‘Be’ and it is.”

And in Surah Mu’minun: “Then We made the sperm into a clot of congealed blood, then of that clot We made a lump, then We made out of that lump bones and clothed the bones with flesh, then We developed out of it another creature, so blessed is Allah, the best to create.”

The Prophet Muhammad is reported to have said: “Every one of you is collected in the womb of his mother for the first 40 days, and then he becomes a clot for another 40 days, and then a piece of flesh for another 40 days… Then the soul is breathed into his body.”

The miracle of the human birth can’t but force us into a state of awe, of sensing the presence of Allah in His creation, of realising His Majesty, His Knowledge, His Mercy, His Power. It is difficult to look at a baby that has just emerged from the womb and not to realise the existence and presence of the Creator of us all.

The birth of a baby is also a sign of the Resurrection. In Surah Al-Hajj, for example, Allah says: “Oh humankind. If you are in doubt concerning the Resurrection, then lo! We have created you from dust, then from a drop of seed, then from a clot, then from a little lump of flesh shapely and shapeless, that We may make (it) clean for you. And We cause what We will to remain in the wombs for an appointed time, and afterward We bring you forth as infants, then (give you growth) that you attain your full strength. And among you there is he who dies (young), and among you is he who is brought back to the most abject time of life, so that, after knowledge, he knows nothing. And you (Muhammad), do see the earth barren, but when We send down water onto it, it thrills and swells and puts forth every lovely kind (of growth).”

Apart from these wondrous thoughts that the birth of a baby might cause us to have, my most important contemplation is that, looking at the miracle that is a newborn baby – her innocence, her beauty, her helplessness, her demanding voice – one cannot help but recognise, acknowledge and praise Allah and see His attributes in her.

Over the past few weeks, I often look adoringly at my baby and wonder – fearfully – about the world she has entered. But I take solace in the fact that her very presence is supposed to teach the world about gentleness, love, compassion and mercy. How can a parent feed, clothe, listen to the cries and change the nappies of a little baby and not be filled with compassion?

A Bedouin man once asked the Prophet (s), “Do you kiss your children? We do not kiss ours.” To which the Prophet (s) replied: “What can I do if Allah has removed compassion from your hearts.” Not only does the presence of children teach us compassion; it also is an indicator of the state of our hearts.

Engaged surrender in this context also means realising that once that baby is older, one will have to let go and allow him to lead his own life. As a parent I will not be able to lead her life. Hence Sayyidina Ali’s insightful advice: “Bring your children up differently from the way you were brought up, for they live in an era different from yours.”

Unfortunately, this does not mean we don’t try to impose our aspirations on our children, firstly through their names. And, so, our bundle of joy is called “Imarah Unathi” – a yearning for good “leadership” and an acknowledgement that “Allah is with us”.